Love – Jason likes to travel

Crossing the Atlantic on a dinghy..

It’s the year 2033. The American dream didn’t quite work out for us and after considering all of our options, here we are at sea crossing the Atlantic in a dinghy boat making way for pastures new in England.

Family and friends can’t fully understand why we’re risking our lives in this way but I guess that story requires a blast back to the past. It’s 2016 and a friend tells me that she’s engaged to be married in 2018.

“Is two years enough notice for you to come? she asks and without any hesitation I reply “of course!”. Honoured that she’d even think to invite me, I wouldn’t miss a wedding in Washington for the world – the opportunity to travel to a new part of the globe an added bonus. My first trip to the West coast of the USA is imminent.

Fast forward a few months and wedding planning and wedding talk is well underway. Bridesmaids are confirmed and somehow I come up in conversation between Maddie (bride number 1), Cassie (bride number 2) and Haleigh (bridesmaid). Matchmaker Maddie puts myself and Haleigh in touch. I don’t know that there was ever an intention for things to become more but at the very least we’re both excited to have a new friend at the wedding in 2018.

We continue chatting and getting to know eachother. There’s a spark here somewhere but the wedding is still over a year away. If this is anything, surely it’s best to know sooner rather than wait another 12-18 months? I don’t even know if I want to do the long-distance thing again. Been there, done that but let’s at least meet and see how things go. I book a trip to Washington in September 2017.

At last! A first time meeting Maddie, a first time meeting the woman who she plans to marry and a first time meeting Haleigh! It’s a lovely first trip to Washington and any doubts I had about long-distance are alleviated. A freezing first date of sorts quickly establishes that there’s a genuine connection here and Haleigh is a lovely human being that anyone would love.

Trip number two to Washington (February 2018) comes long before what was trip number one to Washington (August 2018) and now infact actually trip number three to Washington. Trip number three sees me spending four weeks in the USA, three of which were spent with Haleigh exploring the West coast. Our longest spell of time together and also a trip in which I met a lot of her family for the first time.

Let’s fast forward a bit. There are trips back and forth and it’s obvious that this is the real deal. At least one of us is going to have to leave our home country in the future – maybe both but that was never a serious consideration. England or the USA were the logical choices for a permanent location in the future. What do we do?

I had nothing tying me to England but conversations over time leant more towards Haleigh probably coming here. Before Haleigh gave up everything I figured we should do a little trial run. I quit my job, built up some savings and then off I went to Moses Lake, Washington for three months in February 2020. Chinese passengers have already been denied entry in to the USA but I squeeze in just before a disease called Covid spreads globally.

Lockdowns aside, things go well. Living together feels natural, being together every day feels natural. It was a successful glimpse in to the future of what it would be like living together permanently. I propose and we’re engaged. We come full circle and Maddie and Cassie are now bridesmaids at our wedding in ~~September 2021~~ April 2022. An unfortunate postponement due to the US border remaining closed meant we had to push things back to 2022.

We get married, honeymoon in snowy Oregon and then Haleigh applies for a spousal visa. Friends and family were very kind to give us a hefty chunk of money as a wedding gift and instantly that went *poof* on immigration application and NHS fees. So begins the process of becoming a legal immigrant rather than one of those disgusting illegals that the government convince you are responsible for all of your problems.

All of them crossing the English channel on a dinghy coming for your jobs and to take advantage of the benefit system in the UK. It’s not that we hate all foreigners, just the ones from poorer countries. We enjoy a bit of banter with those Europeans from the Western side of the continent – Germany, France etc, but as it is we stop them coming too. In 2016 we decide “Let’s leave the EU” and put an end to free movement – seemingly the answer to our problems.

The visa process drags on and on and on. Putin kicks off a war in Ukraine which adds to the number of refugees wanting to come to Britain and only extends the waiting period for ourselves. The government is by and large sympathetic to their cause so the Ukrainians are welcome refugees to the UK – the rest are on a waiting list for flights to Rwanda.

Having applied in early May, there’s still no sign of Haleigh coming to the UK any time soon. Her passport is somewhere in the application process and I’ve used up all my annual leave on a wedding. Consequently I haven’t seen Haleigh for months but manage to get out to the US in time for Thanksgiving 2022. Haleigh’s sick for the first half of the week, recovers in time for Thanksgiving and then that official documentation comes through in the mail. Haleigh has a spousal visa to come and live in the UK – hurrah!

Haleigh enjoyed Christmas at home, gave herself a bit of time in January to sort some things out and then moved to England in February 2023. After spending the first 10 months of married life apart, we are finally living in the same place – glorious Peterborough!

The first year living in a new place is challenging for Haleigh. The first few months offer some glimpse in to the life that immigrants and refugees actually face coming here. I can only applaud at those pesky foreigners stealing your jobs and coming here for the benefits because its weeks before Haleigh can even get something as simple as a bank account opened. If people are coming here doing anything beyond surviving they’re bloody geniuses.

Work offers its challenges, Haleigh struggles comprehending why getting a telephone appointment with a GP is a miraculous task (don’t even think about hoping to see your doctor) and also struggles with the reality that the UK is a nation of drunks –

“I just saw a bunch of people wearing traffic cones.. “
“Oh.. That could be a stag do, it could just be a normal Friday night in England. Hard to say..”

We discuss possibly returning to the US and giving things a go there instead. Teaching and sickness and everything has taken a toll up to this point but Haleigh to her credit wants to give England a real fair crack despite all of the frustrations faced.

In late 2023 the UK government impose new restrictions on immigrants coming to the UK. The threshold for applications now means you or your partner need to earn a minimum of £38,700 to come to the country.

Thirty eight thousand pounds. Dreamland. Haleigh’s not even earning that as a qualified teacher but we’re one of the lucky ones. The governments war on immigrants and refugees has won and the general population lap it up unquestioned. 12 years of Conservative rule is not enough to dissuade people from voting for them again in the next general election. – the Conservatives are elected again with Suella Braverman now leading the party after 64 further changes of Prime Minister in 3 years.

Nevertheless Haleigh still struggles with life in England and that’s the decision we make. Back home to the land of the mountains and everything else that comes with life in America. We start making a new life for ourselves in *that place, Washington* and things are fine for a while but nowhere is perfect. The USA also has its challenges, political turmoil and again we weigh up whether we’re completely happy here. Maybe we do go back to England and escape what is now happening in the good ol’ USA?

Alas, we were the lucky ones only that one time. We’ve left the UK and now we can’t actually return. We don’t meet the requirements any longer to apply for a visa. We’re too poor to be in love. I can return to England but not with my wife – the UK has turned its back on us.

and yet Russia has invaded Alaska! They’ve decided they should never have given it away and fears rise that the West Coast is prime target for attacks. We stock up on guns, particularly with the “illegal” living next door that we’ve never been fully certain of their intentions, but we no longer feel safe in America. It’s time to go home. For me at least. Haleigh can’t join me legally and so we’re faced with the prospect of doing so illegally.

I know of a guy who has a brother who knows a hairdresser that has a friend at the gym who can point us in the right direction. “We can guarantee safe passage to England..” he cries as Fox News ramps up stories of illegals crossing the border from Canada. Trump proposes building a wall to keep citizens in the likes of Vancouver and Toronto as far from the United States as possible.

We face treacherous conditions but with war on the horizon, the risk is worth it. So here we are at the present day, we’ve been at sea for four weeks and even my optimistic outlook is wavering. It’s hard to predict what will happen to us and we can only hope that we’ll land in England safely. To what greeting we’ll arrive to is even harder to predict. Rwanda have reportedly stopped taking the UK’s refugees so the 402nd Tory PM is negotiating with other countries about striking up a similar deal to stop illegal immigrants coming to the UK.

Life as an illegal will bring its own challenges for us but we make it work. I figure I’ll take a cash-in-hand job as a decorator and Haleigh can do some private tutoring to get us by until we land on our feet.

Now being invaded from illegals on both borders, Trump ramps up the US’ own immigration policies and imposes a reciprocal policy to that of the UK. Consequently now meaning myself and Haleigh can never return there in the future either – we either separate or we’re effectively statelesss.

Immigrants wanting to pursue the American dream now need to earn at least $400k a year to meet the application requirements which limits immigration only to those with an offshore bank account sitting in a tax-haven country.

and okay, okay. I’m done. Honestly. To all of your surprises, my imaginative story is not real! Not yet anyway. We’re still in present day immigrant-hating 2023.

I’m not going to go as far as calling all Brexit voters or all Tory voters racists but this is the point that that fear of foreigners has led us to. Every time that the government or media de-humanise a refugee or immigrant coming to England this is the result. Every time Trump talks about illegals crossing the Southern US border, this is the result.

Brexit wasn’t solely about immigration but let’s be honest and say that it influenced a number of people. Somehow stopping people coming here on boats means that doctors and teachers and other key workers from Europe can’t come here. Brexit hasn’t deterred people from coming here enough so now we’re onwards to step two to stop all people coming here.

I might start making a point of referring to Haleigh as an illegal because whilst that isn’t strictly true, the reality is the only reason she isn’t is we were fortunate enough to get her to England at the right time. It’s a coincidence that Haleigh is a legal immigrant here and nothing more. This is the face of the illegals you hear about.

Horrifying.

I’ve exaggerated the story of course. There’s no way in hell we’d ever get on a boat from Washington to England but theoretically this is a Rwanda-bound woman that didn’t have the funds nor fortune to be here any other way.

The government have fooled you in to thinking foreigners are your problems. I don’t know if this policy will actually come in to fruition but to some degree I hope it does because I don’t know who the government blame when immigration is no longer the problem in the UK or likewise who Trump blames for those struggling there too.

This country has already cut off ties with the European Union because they’re worried about people coming over in boats from *checks notes* Africa or refugees from Syria and Yemen.

and I suspect that the real truth is that this new policy will do nothing to actually reduce people coming here “illegally”. All it will do is make it more difficult for people to go down the legal route – which is fucking extortionate by the way. It’s laughable how much money it costs to get someone here legally and how many hoops you have to jump through to do so.

I’d somewhat argue Haleigh has more right being in the UK than I do. She’s at least paid her way here, I’m here because of circumstance and nothing more. Your birthplace is coincidence and says nothing for your character, intelligence, kindness and whatever else.

I genuinely don’t know what the future has in store for us. It won’t be any secret to some of our loved ones but we have genuinely talked about moving over to the US in the future if things don’t work here. This sudden policy change would probably make it very difficult to ever come back here if we made that decision.

I’m hugely sympathetic to anyone coming here in the hope of building a better life for themselves and even more sympathetic to anyone separated from their loved ones because of some dickhead making policy that will never impact their own lives.

It’s much easier to talk about controversial issues when they impact your own lives and perhaps I’m a tad guilty of that here but I’d like to at least reiterate that I will always have time for people of any background. The media do a grand job of whipping up a frenzy of those of different nationalities, sexualities, genders, religions and so on.

I’m by no means perfect but I’ll always advocate for those struggling more than myself to have the same rights and luxuries I do. Unfortunately our backwards government have also clamped down on the right to protest so some of these issues you can’t even challenge without repercussions but the majority of people in this world are good people.

Those of you that can’t see that or have fear of “illegals” such as Haleigh really need to reflect upon your thought-process and the influences that lead you to think this way. If they’re not doing any harm, let people live how they want to live and stop getting worked up about things that will never have any impact on your lives.

I’m going to end this on a personal note but I hope anyone reading this will always consider this little space on the web a safe place to be. If you’re not a piece of shit and actually have compassion for other people, we’ll likely get along just fine.

Rounding back to the imaginative story. I don’t think it’ll ever get to that extreme a length that we’ll be heading over to England on a dinghy but the next time you’re reading about the horrors of illegals, I hope you picture me and Haleigh and realise many of these people are just genuine people wanting the best for themselves.

Until next time,

Jason

Moses Lake – Sep 2017

Those of you that have been following my Washington series will know that last time out on the blog I rounded off my time in the city of Spokane. After one night solo in Spokane it was time for me to move on and visit another new place: Moses Lake!

“Oh my god, at last!”

Alright readers, calm down! I suppose one of the downsides to not blogging “in the moment” and doing so two years after the trip (oops), particularly in a series such as this, is some of my ‘audience’ tend to know what the story is building towards. Last week I had one binge-reader (hi mum) unhappy with the one-post-a-week schedule as she was keen to read the next chapter because, of course, awaiting me in Moses Lake was none other than Haleigh!

“Who?”

Oh come on! For those unfamiliar with the story (“get with the times!”) you can catch up here but long story short, Haleigh’s my girlfriend and this particular portion of the trip was the first time we’d ever really spent any time together. We’d briefly met on Sunday but the bulk of that was spent on a car journey, alongside our friends Maddie and Cassie. We’d been apart since then so consequently I was excited to be leaving Spokane on Wednesday but also a bit nervous about how things were going to go.

I don’t know if spoiler is the right word given it’s obvious how things panned out, particularly given I even wrote this piece announcing I’d be living in Moses Lake for 3 months in 2020 but still; here’s how that nerve-wrecking first encounter went and similarly what I did on my first visit to Moses Lake.

I say first visit, I had actually passed through it on my journey from Ellensburg to Spokane. Perhaps fortunately so because it left me somewhat prepared for the reality that Moses Lake’s Greyhound “bus station” is in the middle of nowhere.

Seriously, it might not surprise the American readers as much but for my fellow Europeans used to a relatively good standard of public transport I suppose I’d liken it to being dropped off at a service station. “You want a bus to London? Cool, our London bus stop is somewhere on the A1 – enjoy!”

Essentially if you’re getting a Greyhound bus to Moses Lake, you’re going to want a car when you arrive.

“A car? After getting off a bus? If you had access to a car would you not just drive there yourself?”

Thank you friends! The logic was lost on me too. Being completely realistic you need to either have someone picking you up or you’re going to want to order a taxi as soon as you arrive. The downtown area of this, fairly small town, is around 3 miles away from the bus stop, which is ultimately just a petrol station car park.

Haleigh was working when I arrived so I personally had two options. My first was actually to walk rather than take a taxi. It was a nice day, I had time to kill and it was “only” 3 miles. Why pay for a taxi?

Alternatively I could just wait it out, I think I got in to Moses Lake around 2 and Haleigh would be home around 4 and be able to pick me up on the way. The one perk to the ludicrous location / service type feel is that it’s at least located next to plenty of restaurants / fast food places. It’s a pretty popular spot for truckers who want somewhere convenient to stop along the i90 and on this occasion was convenient for me to grab a late lunch. I decided I’d eat at Denny’s.

Unfortunately it was actually pretty mediocre, I think this was my first Denny’s experience since childhood trips to Florida and I’ve clearly romanticised them a bit too much. I’m convinced they were brilliant when I was younger, perhaps this was an off day, but it spoilt this magical opinion I held of Denny’s from my youth.

I think I finished up eating just before three which left me in that limbo position where it felt a bit too long to just hang out in Denny’s but barely long enough to justify walking in to Moses Lake. Whether I waited or walked I was probably still going to get in to town around the same time. In the end I took the less awkward option, not wanting to loiter in Denny’s I decided to walk.

The last hurdle to overcome with this ridiculous location was that a good chunk of the route isn’t actually pedestrianised. Where’s your “sidewalk” America? It’s bad enough your only car-free option from the bus stop is to walk three miles but you then have nowhere to actually walk. I ended up having to walk along gravel on the side of the highway whilst dragging my suitcase along behind me.

“Why’s that guy dragging a suitcase along the A1?” – it was a tad ridiculous.

On the plus side, it is a pretty straight walk at least. Although I suppose the A1 is too for the most part and I’m not proposing walking that any time soon. Anyway, eventually I reached a “sidewalk” and it’s a pretty smooth walk from there – a lot of it downhill infact.

About a mile from town I got a message from Haleigh and realised I’d actually walked too far, obviously after the point the walk had started heading downhill which meant I had to turn back and walk uphill. I’d almost reached Haleigh’s apartment when she pulled over and picked me up which saved me a few hundred yards.

After dropping my things off at her place we headed out so I could get my first proper glimpse of Moses Lake. Haleigh had only recently (Aug) moved here infact so it was a good chance for us both to have a bit of a look around the downtown area, I think Haleigh had driven through plenty of times but never really parked up and looked around.

The downtown area was small but a little cute too, it definitely had that small town feel to it which I haven’t really experienced much of when visiting the US. We popped our head in a few shops before closing, mostly independent little businesses rather than big chains. One of which had a cool little area where you could actually pay to do artwork/pottery and similar stuff which Haleigh’s been back to since a few times. There was also a couple of cool murals and statues throughout the downtown area which I was fond of.

MosesLake6

Having appeased our curiosity we made our way over to dinner and visited Moses Lake favourite ‘Rock Top. It has become a regular place for us to eat out but this was essentially our “first date” I suppose. It was quite a nice day and they had a few outside tables so we decided we’d eat outside rather than inside, seemingly the only people in a busy restaurant to do so which was nice and that little more romantic being just the two of us.

However it was also rather cold! It might have been a nice warm day with the sun bearing down on you but under a bit of shade it felt rather breezy and it quickly became clear why nobody else wanted to eat outside haha.

We made the most of it though. It was a little more intimate which is an added bonus on a first date. I can only speak for myself but I was nervous going in to dinner. We’d spent a little time together by this point but that had still either been with Maddie or Cassie, or even in exploring Moses Lake earlier we had something to distract us or catch our eye. “Hey! Look at that cool mural!”

Dinner was different because it’d just be us, literally given the setting, and that meant a focus on entertaining or engaging the other person. Conversational skills or social situations aren’t my biggest strength and there was definitely that fear that I’d bore Haleigh or that things just wouldn’t go well. It opens up the possibility of an awkward or uncomfortable end to the trip. You can get to know people to an extent online but it’s no substitute for actually spending time together in person and you always hope that step in a friendship or relationship or whatever goes smoothly.

Any fears or nervousness quickly disappeared. It instantly felt like I was having dinner with someone I’d known for years. It was easy and effortless and I think as far as first dates go, it was really enjoyable. I found Haleigh incredibly easy to spend time with and there was a natural chemistry there rather than having to force it. I definitely left dinner thinking there was a future for us and it set the mood for the rest of the evening. After eating we were able to just relax back at the apartment and watch a bit of Netflix before bed.

Sadly Haleigh still had to work on Thursday so the next day I was left to explore Moses Lake solo. I looked online for a little inspiration or ideas on how to spend my day but there seemingly isn’t much in Moses Lake, I’d arguably seen most of it already.

I made the first stop of my day at one of the standout points of interest – the Japanese peace gardens in the city. They were so peaceful infact that I think I startled the man cutting the grass. There was nobody else here which made it nice to wander around, it’s only a small gardened area and isn’t somewhere that’s worth going out of your way to visit but it’s a nice little addition to Moses Lake. Plus it’s free so it was definitely worth having a look and I grabbed a handful of photos before moving on.

MosesLake26 — Japanese Peace Garden, Moses Lake

My next stop was at “Mason’s Place” – a small independent owned coffee place downtown. This has also become a bit of a regular haunt for me as it’s cosy and it’s also nice to support a local business in the process. I grabbed myself a tea and a seat at the window to “people watch”.

It turns out people-watching isn’t actually much fun in America. Everyone drives everywhere, they have drive-thru’s for literally everything. I’m not sure I saw a person outside of the coffee shop infact, plenty of parked cars but I don’t know where all the people who own those cars were. Bizarre and also quite boring – stick to people watching in Europe haha.

Having had my fix of tea I wandered down towards the lake which the town inevitably gets its name from. The water looked incredibly enticing and I can recall, at the time, uploading a photo to social media proclaiming its beauty and my temptation to jump in. Here’s said photo! Not bad right?

Ironically I saw an article quite recently advising people to avoid swimming in the lake as it’s toxic! I don’t think this was the case when I took this photo but probably just as well I didn’t jump in! Maybe settle for just walking alongside the lake and admiring the view instead which is what I ended up doing.

I wandered up towards a restaurant called “Michael’s on the Lake” which as you might guess is a restaurant offering lakeside views. It’s quite a nice restaurant, it was only after sitting down and looking at the menu that I realised they were part of the same company who own Rock Top. Purely coincidental in terms of me coming here but interesting given I’d visited Rock Top the evening before.

For the purpose of this coming story I’m going to actually name my waiter ‘Michael’, fitting with the restaurant’s name. Maybe Michael Jr would be better actually. ‘Michael’s’ service has stuck with me for the last two years and it’s a difficult one to try and fairly describe but the way I continually think of it is he essentially wasn’t a waiter.

He was this young guy, friendly, helpful but he lacked all of the typical waiting mannerisms. Don’t get me wrong, he was completely professional but I can only think he must have been relatively new at the job because he just didn’t come across as a waiter. Not in the sense that he didn’t know what he was doing, it was a good service, but he didn’t seem to have picked up those waiting traits or habits I suppose. I can recall a few occasions which are hard to describe but tickled me in a way.

As I said though it was actually a really good service, a little more personable I guess and I held out the hope I’d come back and see a different ‘Michael’ somewhere down the line. I’ve been back to the restaurant twice and not seen him, I hope if he has left that he’s gone on to better things!

Following on from a long lunch (I really did enjoy the service and stuck around for an extra beer or two), I made my way back towards Haleigh’s apartment, leaving time for one last detour. There’s a small (and free) museum in Moses Lake so I thought I’d go and check it out. One of the main pieces was some local artist’s work which was quite cool to see, it was a good way to pass some time too.

Back at the apartment I chilled out for a bit until Haleigh made it home. On Friday we were getting the whole “gang” together, joining Maddie and Cassie and spending the weekend in Seattle. So we had the option of either driving to Ellensburg in the morning or heading there Thursday night. We wanted to make an early start towards Seattle so decided to drive over to Maddie and Cassie’s that evening and stay at theirs overnight.

It was a pretty drive back to Ellensburg with the sun setting. I think every car ride or bus journey has been the same whenever I’ve visited Washington, I just have my face glued to the window and try and resist the temptation to take 1,000 photos. It’s such a pretty state.

Soon enough we’d reached Ellensburg. As I explained in my Ellensburg post here, Ellensburg is a college town and at the time Maddie and Cassie were both working on campus. Consequently we took a little trip over to Central Washington University (CWU).

It was an opportunity for me to have a little glimpse in to ‘college life’ in America. It was interesting to look around and seemed like a good size college. Haleigh gave me a little tour of the grounds before we checked in on a couple of Haleigh’s old friends from college which also helped kill a bit of time.

Having spent a little time looking around we wandered back to Maddie and Cassie’s and chilled out for the evening. We agreed a time to kick off the morning trip to Seattle and got ourselves a good night’s sleep. More on Seattle to come next!

Stay tuned!

Jason

Washington State – An introduction – Sep 2017

As promised last time out on the blog, my next few posts are going to be dedicated to various cities and towns throughout the state of Washington but first I want to give you a little background.

Without doubt one of the greatest things about the internet are the connections it allows us to make to people all over the world. A simple conversation online can lead to friendships or relationships that last a lifetime. At 31 years old I’ve spent over half of my life online and in that time I’ve crossed paths with an incredible number of people online, some of which I’ve known a good 10-15+ years!

As someone with a real interest in traveling it’s quite a luxury to have friends all over the world but one country in particular stands out on that front: the USA! I reckon I could probably go to any state in the country and know someone in some capacity.

In 2017 I made an effort to go and visit some of those lovely people across the pond. The first trip took me to Washington DC, Nashville and Dallas which gave me a great chance to finally see some of my favourite people! It was long overdue!

However not content with just one Washington visit, I was soon booking flights to visit Washington State on the opposite coast to see a few more of my favourites: Maddie, Cassie and Haleigh!

Myself and Maddie had met online a number of years earlier and it was always in my mind to go and visit Seattle/Washington at some point. Eventually that opportunity presented itself, Maddie sent a proposition my way in early 2016 which went something along the lines of “Hey.. would two years be enough notice for you to come to my wedding?”

I was honoured! Of course I’d be there! I’d like to think I’d have gone irrespective of how much notice I’d been given but two years was plenty! I stuck a little pin in the calendar for August 2018 and was excited at making what would presumably be my first trip (ha!) to the USA’s West coast!

Poulsbo61

With wedding plans progressing, later in the year (2016) Maddie introduced me to Cassie (the bride) and also their friend Haleigh. It was great! I now had three lovely people to visit in Washington!

“So that’s how you met!”

Alright, you got me! This story might have been a bit more suspenseful had some of you not read about Haleigh previously or in some cases even met Haleigh here in England. However it’s safe to say it’s a “friendship” that clicked pretty instantly.

I wasn’t really thinking about anything long-distance but I was excited to have another friend at the wedding outside of the happy couple. However as time went on and we continued talking regularly it seemed there was clearly a spark between myself and Haleigh.

Whether that spark was enough to lead to anything more was another matter. I wasn’t dead set against long distance but inevitably I had my doubts, not helped by the fact this was yet again further from home as if Germany or Georgia hadn’t been far enough away.

“Seriously Jason, could you not just fall for a nice local girl?”
“Obviously not..”

There were a number of factors to consider so we just kept things at a “see how it goes” basis but it got to a point where I figured I’d just be better off knowing where we stood. Whilst we were both single and not looking elsewhere, the spark online doesn’t always necessarily translate when spending time in person. The wedding was still over a year away and did either of us really want to wait that long to see how compatible we were? It’s a long time to put your life on hold for a maybe. It could also have been a really awkward wedding day and I didn’t want to spoil it in anyway.

Rather than wait until August 2018, instead I booked flights and decided to visit a year earlier – heading for Washington State come September 2017. Therefore I was visiting the US for the second time in 2017 and this time getting to experience “the other Washington” – not to be confused with Washington DC on the East coast.

Obviously it’ll be no surprise to hear things went well! There have been multiple trips to Washington since then, including for the wedding of the year (2018) but you’ll have to wait to hear about those adventures until another day. This particular series will be focusing on that very first trip to the West coast, seeing three wonderful people and exploring Ellensburg, Spokane, Moses Lake and Seattle.

Next up on the blog? The start of that trip in Ellensburg! Stay tuned!

Jason

The much needed, imperfect Paris trip

Last time out on the blog I wrote about my daytrip in October 2016 to Liege. Following my time in Belgium (Liege) and Germany (Köln) I had just enough time to squeeze in one more trip in 2016 before the end of the year – a trip to Paris!

Visiting Paris had long been a must visit city for me, something about the romance of it had always really appealed to me. Call it cliché if you wish but it was always somewhere that in my head I saw as a special place and romantic place to visit.
For that reason it was also, for a long time, a place I put off visiting. I always wanted to wait to visit with the right person and didn’t see myself enjoying it solo. I’ve been to countless other places solo but Paris was different.

However 2016 was a tough year, early-ish in the year my relationship ended and as much as I’d love to say it was easy moving on it’d be a lie. It was heart-breaking for me and took me a long time to get over. After a few months of feeling sorry for myself I decided something had to change, I couldn’t continue moping about so I booked a trip to Paris.

I’m sure there are better ways to get over a relationship and I can’t say it entirely worked, you can’t just switch those feelings on and off but it certainly helped and the timing of the trip made it feel a little symbolic for me.

It was the end of the year! December 30th 2016 to January 1st 2017. It meant leaving thoughts of past relationships behind me and treating myself to some adventure. It also meant not going another year without visiting Paris solely due to a lack of company. I was determined to end 2016 and start 2017 right.

At this point I’d never really spent any significant time in France. By significant I mean in the sense that I could actually tell you where I’d been. My parents took me and my sister on daytrips when we were kids, I’d also gone on a coach trip with school to Spain which meant driving through the entirety of France but I couldn’t tell you where I’d gone or stopped beyond Calais – mostly service stations in truth.
This felt like my first proper French experience and I no longer had to feel dubious about adding France to the list of countries that I’d visited.

As much as I romanticised Paris, I had mixed feelings about visiting. Whilst most people are complimentary about Paris, it certainly isn’t without its critics. Perhaps moreso in England because I think it’s ingrained in to our society to automatically and irrationally dislike the French. Ask any Brit and I’m sure they’d tell you they’ve heard something derogatory about the French at some time, which is rather bizarre and a little sad when you think about it.

I was hoping to be proven wrong and that Paris would live up to expectations. With just two days in the city I was keen to try and see most of the touristy stuff: The Eiffel Tower, River Seine, Sacre Couer, Arc de Triomph, Notre Dame, Louvre and more. Paris is home to so many well-known landmarks and I now had the chance to see them myself. Sort of.

Going anywhere in Europe in December/January you have to be prepared for cold weather and grey skies. As an Englishman it wasn’t going to faze me, it’s always cold right?

Anyway, I left England on the 29th and by the time I’d arrived it was around midnight so all I really had time to do was check in and sleep. The following morning I wrapped up warm; departing my hostel I found grey skies and there was definitely a chill in the air but I was excited to get exploring the city at last.

I hopped on the metro ready to make my first stop of the day – the Sacre Couer! I wanted to see the building itself but I’d also heard it had some of the best views in Paris so it seemed like a great place to start my trip.

I was pleasantly surprised to get off the metro and find it wasn’t too busy. I’d made a bit of an early start (by my standards) but not terribly early, consequently I had expected a few more tourists in the area.

As I approached the Sacre Couer it became abundantly clear why it was so quiet. They say a lot about first impressions and mine wasn’t the greatest, as I stared up at the Sacre Couer my very first thought was “where did this fog come from?!”. All I could see was the faint outline of a building hidden behind a cloud of fog. My first viewing of the Sacre Couer was a blurred one, I could barely see it. The famous views from the Sacre Couer? Non-existent. I couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of me.

IMAG4745 — The simply stunning Sacre Couer!

It really set the tone for the rest of the trip. There were two directions I could have taken – let the fog/weather spoil the trip or just go with the flow. I did the latter and laughed it off. I started taking selfies “with” the Sacre Couer and all you can see behind me is a layer of fog. I thought it was hysterical that my first stop of the day had been such a poor pick.

IMAG4750 — Selfies with the Sacre Couer!

On the plus side the inside of the Sacre Couer was beautiful and the lack of tourists meant it wasn’t overly crowded as I expect it is on a clearer day. I continued my exploration by strolling through the beautiful Montmarte area, which really does live up to the hype by the way, and then jumped back on the metro.

Next aim of the day? Walk the Champs Elysee from end to end. From the Arc de Triomph down to the Louvre or vice versa, I decided I’d do the former and possibly pop in the Louvre after if it wasn’t too busy. Typically I got off at the wrong stop and ended up somewhere in the middle, probably for the best because it was freezing and walking all of it might have resulted in my fingers and toes falling off.

So in the end I only walked half of it up towards the Arc de Triomph, rather than down to the Louvre. I felt I picked wisely because I’d soon stumbled upon Paris’ Christmas markets, they were beautiful and to add to the magical feel it suddenly started to snow whilst I was passing by. It was only light snow, not enough to set but certainly made it feel a little more Christmas-y on my walk along the Champs Elysee.

IMAG4789 — Christmas markets along the Champs Elysee

The Arc de Triomph itself is cool. I liked it but I don’t think it’s a landmark I’d see myself going back to time and time again. It feels a bit out of the way, not particularly near anything, sat on its own in the centre of a busy road and I’m pretty content having seen it the once. The view from the top is apparently good though which might be the only thing to tempt me back.

Afterwards I grabbed some lunch before making my way to Paris’ “must-see” – the Eiffel Tower! Unfortunately the cursed fog struck again – my first viewing of the Eiffel Tower didn’t include the top of it, left hidden somewhere among the fog. I still haven’t seen it! Who goes to Paris and only sees a percentage of the Eiffel Tower?!

For what it’s worth I still loved the remaining 80-90% of it that I could see. In contrast to the Arc de Triomph I don’t think I’d ever tire of looking at Paris’ best known landmark. It’s stunning and (almost) lived up to all of my expectations – it still would have been nice to see all of it though! Next time!

After that I didn’t do too much, I had a little wander before finding a spot for dinner and then gave some thought to my plans for the evening. The hostel I was staying at had a rooftop bar and had advertised a New Years Eve (NYE) celebration/party in to the night up on the roof! It sounded perfect!

A perk to staying in hostels is it can be easy meeting people and NYE meant everyone was in high spirits. Some Australian guy made conversation with me which meant the rest of my 2016 was spent with good company and a few beers.

Sadly we’d chosen a particularly poor spot to stand and chat. As the clocks struck midnight the hostel staff hopped up on to the bar and started spraying champagne. Sadly we were both in the prime “splash zone” so I was soon drenched in it! A very enjoyable night though and a great way to end 2016 and start the New Year – so much so that I’ve tried to make it a New Years tradition to be out of the country. I went to Edinburgh’s famous Hogmanay the following year!

Anyway.. Sunday morning rolled round, fortunately hangover-free and I decided I had to find a café for breakfast. Crepes and tea in a Paris café seemed the best possible start to the year and it didn’t disappoint. Paris’ café culture is understandably very different in the winter given the contrast in temperatures, however it was still enjoyable to just sit and relax for a while before starting another day of exploring.

The first stop of my final day in Paris was to be the Notre Dame. Fortunately the fog had disappeared today, the disappointing first-impressions remained in place though. I think your first impression of this is going to be a complete contrast depending which angle you’re seeing it at. I came from the entrance-facing direction and genuinely my first impression was “is that it?” – once you get closer to it and see the detail it truly is stunning but from a distance it looked remarkably small and I was left underwhelmed. I want to add a photo for context because it sounds particularly harsh but this is what I first saw. I’m convinced it’s not that impressive but feel free to argue otherwise!

IMAG4853 — First glimpse of the Notre Dame

I’ve joked since about the “hunchback of Peterborough” because I’m still adamant now that if you put the two buildings side by side, most would favour Peterborough’s cathedral viewed from the front. I’m expecting a Disney movie about it any day now.

I frequently question how harsh my first impression was but then started picking up postcards to take home and every postcard had the Notre Dame from a side-view from across the river. Had that been my first sight of the Notre Dame I would have had a very different first impression but sadly you only get one first impression and this was mine.

As I hurdled among the crowd to see it up close and walked around the building I started to see what all the fuss was about. It really is a stunning piece of architecture and I can only imagine how incredible it would have looked inside. I’ve seen a handful of photos but didn’t get the chance to enter myself. The queue was a mile long (exaggeration..) and it probably didn’t help it was also a Sunday. I figured this was something I could see next time, it wasn’t a regret I had at the time but this year’s tragic fire adds a little regret that I didn’t see it in all of its glory. Hopefully restoration works bring some of that glory back and I’ll see it at some point in the future.

Content I’d admired it from all angles I went and picked up some souvenirs before heading off in search of food. I was keen to cross off another Hard Rock Café (HRC) visit and jumped on the Metro in that direction. The nearest stop was a little walk away. As I strolled along I thought to myself that this was a really nice part of Paris.

Literally seconds later a couple of officers came around the corner with massive guns on their shoulders which seemed like comical timing for me to have thought how nice the area was. I then approached the entrance to the Hard Rock Café where the DOORMAN did a quick search before letting me in which suddenly blew that theory out of the water.

To his credit I survived lunch so he did his job well, I left without a scratch on me! Seriously though, I’ve never been to a HRC where they’ve required a doorman for security.

The rest of my afternoon was just relaxed, I just wandered through the streets peering my head in to little cafes and shops. By this point I’d accepted I’d be coming back to Paris with clearer views and hopefully warmer climates. I’d built up this little fantasy in my head of what Paris was going to be like and it didn’t really tick any of the boxes. My first impressions of the sights seemed to be met with a twinge of disappointment, the famous café culture was non-existent because it was too cold for outside dining, the love of my life was nowhere to be seen and to top it off the French were worryingly friendly and welcoming.

I’d heard so much about how unfriendly the French are towards English-speaking tourists and not even that lived up to expectation. It had me thinking back to a Bill Bryson quote in his book “Neither here Nor there”.

It took me two or three days to notice it, but the people of Paris have become polite over the last twenty years. They don’t exactly rush up and embrace you and thank you for winning the war for them, but they have certainly become more patient and accommodating. The cab drivers are still complete jerks, but everyone else – shopkeepers, waiters, the police – seemed almost friendly. I even saw a waiter smile once. And somebody held open a door for me instead of letting it bang in my face. It began to unsettle me.

Paris was imperfect in so many ways. However rather than enjoy it for all the things I thought I would, instead I found small pleasures in other places and I think that made me even fonder of Paris. The fact I’d enjoyed it despite nothing going to plan was a strong reminder as to why I fell in love with travel to begin with. It isn’t just about the gloss and the glamour but just as much about the atmosphere and people of the city. Paris still had this irresistible charm and romance in the air, the people were nice and even in the fog it remains a beautiful city.

I sat at some restaurant eating dinner before catching the train back to England and pondered how highly I rated Paris. I don’t think I’d put Paris up there with the best places I’ve visited. I’d still favour cities such as London, New York City, Madrid, Sydney but on a personal note it was exactly the trip I needed at that moment in my life. It was a good lesson that sometimes things don’t work out how you thought they would but it’s still going to be alright.

Anyway, that wraps up this trip. Have you ever been to Paris? Give me some recommendations on what to see next time! I’ll be returning to the city very soon but more on that to come in my next blog post!

Stay tuned!

Jason