Dublin – May 2019

Hello dear readers! I promised to be a bit more active this year so I figured I’d get back to talking about some travel. Alas this particular story is needed as a bit of a prequel to tell the next travel tale.

In the last proper travel post on the blog I wrapped up a story of a long-overdue trip to Finland in 2019 and well, what a year 2019 was eh?

To really sell this story though I’ve got to take you to its neighbour year. No, not 2020! Please, nobody wants to remember that year! With the benefit of 2020 sight (HA!) this story might have gone very differently but firstly let’s go back a year.

2018 was the year of the big 3-0! Thirty days celebrating a wedding and a 30th birthday in the good ol’ USA. Thirty days in another country. Thirty days away from thoughts of work and other responsibilities and then it all came crashing down..

This might not be a problem my dear friends in other countries can actually relate to but you see, the problem with taking a thirty day trip is that it eats in to a good chunk of that “small” annual leave we receive here in good ol’ Europe. First world problems but who survives on only five weeks of leave a year!? That’s excluding public holidays, obviously.

Yes. in 2018 I ended up using four weeks of leave for just one trip! I was also in a long distance relationship at the time so early in 2018 I’d already used two weeks of leave to go and visit Haleigh in Washington and *poof* – there went my annual leave for the year! I’d actually bought an extra week through a work scheme to take my leave up to six weeks but naturally it still wasn’t enough.

I landed back in England at the end of August and now what? FOUR months of non-stop work!? Four months without a single day off!? Send help ASAP!

It was bloody miserable. I’m not career-driven at the best of times but four months with no time off? Come on.. if that’s not the true meaning of suffering, I don’t know what is!

Okay, okay.. there might be a chance that people across the globe had it a little tougher than myself. You’d be right to suggest I’m rather fortunate and privileged and have it better than many people going through genuine hard times but as I said, first world problems. In my little bubble this was the real struggle!

My “pain” wasn’t helped by a Champions League draw at the end of August that saw my beloved Spurs visit Eindhoven, Milan and Barcelona in the last few months of 2018.

Long-time followers might recall that “the luck of the draw” had seemingly seen Spurs spend the last few years seeing how many times they could possibly visit Germany. More specifically West Germany in such a small span of time and now we’re going to the likes of the fucking Nou Camp in Barcelona?

That one particularly hurt. It took every ounce of professionalism (not a lot, let’s be honest) to not to pull a sickie and suddenly find myself in sunny Barcelona in the middle of December.

“Why are you so tanned Jason, haven’t you been at home sick!?”

I was gutted to have to go to work and then enviously watch thousands of delirious Spurs fans celebrating up in the gods of the Nou Camp arena – you lucky swines!

The pain of missing out on Barcelona and Milan and Eindhoven was exacerbated by the realisation that my days were numbered. I knew I’d be “hanging up my boots” and stepping back from football in the months ahead. There were a multitude of factors at play, all accumulating to the knowledge that it was time to give it up.

I love football but priorities were changing and it was in my head that come July 2019 I’d have nothing stopping me from joining Haleigh in Washington for a few months. Every decision, every trip, every bit of expenditure was weighted and budgeted with July 2019 in mind. Stick to the budget and get out!

So come the start of 2019 I was torn between a land of budgeting and travel planning. July felt significant but I wasn’t living without some adventure for the first six months. July was the aim on the basis that I could do both and wind up where I wanted to be financially. So I planned and planned and mapped out my first six months of the year – here!

I had calculated that I could keep within my budget and yet still take FOUR trips overseas in the first six months. I was making up for lost time, or dare I say lost travels in the latter part of 2018. I’d struggled throughout the winter months and consequently January payday was my reward.

Payday rolled around and the wheels started turning. Where did I want to go?

• Prioritise seeing Haleigh. I booked an Easter getaway to Washington in April
• “One” final European adventure with Spurs. My main hope was for Spurs to be playing anywhere but Dortmund. I pleaded with the football gods. Naturally it was Dortmund, West Germany. AGAIN!
• After disappointment of not visiting in 2018, I was desperate to book a bank holiday weekend trip to Finland
• TWO bank holidays in May = TWO weekends away in May, right?

I had to see Haleigh obviously. As much as longer-term ambitions were figuring out the long-distance stuff, in the short term I still had to get myself to Washington. My next ambition was go and watch Spurs in Europe for what may well be the very last time. Naturally it wasn’t but who could have predicted that happening?

Then I looked to May. One big downside of 2018 was not really having been able to maximise the public holidays. This year I’d booked time off over Easter and then decided I could get away for both bank holidays in May – helped by a payday sandwiched in-between them.

I’d booked flights to go to Helsinki in 2018 and then plans changed. I was gutted so I had to make that right in 2019. It was a no brainer on top of the Washington and football trips. That sorted out the first bank holiday nice and early but what about the second?

I pondered a few options and settled upon visiting Dublin. I’ve seen a fair amount of Europe but ridiculously our neighbours across the sea had always eluded me. So I booked a weekend long getaway to Ireland.

Alas, I didn’t go.

Look, had I known what 2020 was going to serve up then of course I could never have refused such an opportunity to travel but hindsight is a funny thing? Uttering these words twelve months later would have seen me hanged, drawn and quartered but the truth is that I was burnt out.

I gave you the background because the end of 2018 was a real slog. That’s partly the price you pay for a month long trip but I struggled at the back end of 2018 and my two comforts in travel and football had been robbed from me.

I squeezed in a 36 hour trip to Warsaw in November 2018 but that hadn’t really scratched enough of an itch for me. Arriving in Warsaw Saturday lunchtime and then departing on Sunday evening because of the lack of annual leave I had to use, I didn’t have a single day off to even enjoy a weekend long trip properly.

Additionally a temporary football move had robbed me of some of the joy in going to the football. Spurs were in the process of building a new stadium and the temporary home of Wembley just didn’t feel right in comparison to our home back in Tottenham. It shouldn’t have made that much of a difference but it did and discouraged me from going to many games in the first half of the season and particularly through the Winter months. I was more picky about which games I’d go to, as were friends I’d usually go and meet up with.

Lastly my social life just seemed to completely dry up in line with all of these things. I went a good few months where I felt like I was doing virtually nothing and then BAM!

First trip of the year in March! BAM!
Tottenham are heading home in March! BAM!
“Do you fancy hanging out in March?” BAM!
“Fancy our first work do for years on the only weekend you have free?” BAM!
“Midweek get-together?” BAM!

Where were all these plans and people throughout the Winter when I had all of the time and nothing to do? If anything I’d been a little lonely and would have appreciated plans. I’d gone from social hermit for months to being constantly busy for weeks – it was such a contrast.

I’m such an introvert too. I’m a fairly sociable introvert and enjoy doing things but I also largely need some space and time to myself. A little time to recuperate from plans and yet March onwards had just gone in to overdrive.

Köln, Dortmund and Bruges was a lovely escape but by the time the Washington trip came around in April I needed it just to enjoy some quiet time. Spending some time with Haleigh and having a fairly calm break was much needed to then go again for what would be another hectic few weeks.

Helsinki – Amsterdam – Dublin!

“Wait, what? You didn’t mention Amsterdam..”

No, that wasn’t in the calendar. Nor the budget really but wouldn’t you know it? Spurs caught wind of my impending retirement and decided this was the year for a European adventure. I’d meticulously planned out my year and Spurs turned around and said “you can’t walk away now Jason..”

Spurs victory in Dortmund was followed by an unexpected victory over the Mancunians in the next round of the competition. Consequently Spurs were off to Amsterdam for a Champions League semi final on Wednesday the 8th May. Monday 6th naturally being the bank holiday weekend I’d booked to go to Helsinki.

I landed back in England on the 6th after a weekend in Helsinki, slept, went to work on Tuesday and then BAM – overnight bus to Amsterdam for another whirlwind trip.

Of course we’d won in Amsterdam hadn’t we? Victory in the most unbelievable circumstances but we’d done it! Now at the end of May we’d be going to Madrid.

At the end of May! A month in which I had already traveled twice and also had a trip to Ireland to come. Plus work either side of that and football and other social plans and.. and.. and.. BAM!

It was too much!

I’m typically a late packer anyway but on the Friday night before flying to Dublin on the Saturday morning I was done. I think both mentally and physically. I was completely drained of all energy. There was a three day weekend ahead but I just didn’t have it in me to be excited about going away again – life had been nonstop for weeks and dare I say that the two trips this month hadn’t helped.

Washington had been a great breather – it was much needed at the time and broke up the hectic schedule a little bit. I was so grateful for that time with Haleigh but then it immediately went up a few notches.

Had it just been Helsinki to follow I probably could have done it but Helsinki and Amsterdam back-to-back? Ooof!

It wasn’t just a case of being two immediate back-to-back trips either but they were also two emotionally draining trips.

I’m not complaining. I’d go as far to say that the two trips combined made for one of the very best weeks of my life but it was a lot. Going to Helsinki was much more important to me than I’d realised when I booked it at the start of the year. I was SO nervous in the days ahead and I think all that stress and worry and nervousness poured out of me over the course of the weekend.

36 hours later I was in Amsterdam to watch Spurs compete in a HUGE game. One of the biggest in the history of the football club:  A first European Cup semi final in 57 years! This was once in a lifetime stuff and wouldn’t you know it, Spurs did it. In the most dramatic of fashions too, a ridiculous comeback clinched in the final seconds of the game!

I spent the rest of the night bawling happy tears in Dam Square – hugging and crying with anyone willing to and there were probably hundreds of takers. It was the greatest night but the second emotionally draining trip of the week let alone the month.

I got back from Amsterdam and immediately threw myself in to another football outing down in London whilst simultaneously making plans for a Champions League final at the end of May – there was no let-up in the schedule and at this point the budget was in pieces too.

Dortmund, Washington, Helsinki, Amsterdam, Dublin, Madrid over the course of a couple of months with endless plans, London trips and work in-between had taken its toll. I’d reached my limitations both physically and mentally.

Dublin or a Champions League final in Madrid? I’d reached breaking point and something had to give.

Looking back I ponder if I could have possibly done both. That was definitely something that ran through my mind a lot during 2020 when we couldn’t do anything – “A year ago you completely bailed on a trip – what were you thinking, idiot!!”

The night before my flight to Dublin I was asked “What time are you leaving tomorrow..? ” and I had nothing to offer. I didn’t know. I hadn’t even packed. I would have time in the morning before heading down to Stansted but my heart wasn’t in it. Another busy weekend running around a new city just didn’t appeal to me.

I think had I actually just got through that initial doubt and hesitancy I probably would have enjoyed Dublin still but at what cost? A week later I’d be going to Spain and by land too – a roadtrip from Peterborough all the way to Madrid. Maybe I’ll enjoy Dublin but would it be at the cost of enjoying the Madrid trip fully?

I’d been to Madrid before but from a football perspective this was a once in a lifetime experience. Tottenham in a Champions League final had never happened before (60+ years of European football) and will likely never happen again if we’re brutally honest.

My dad and his friends have tasted European glory – heading over to Belgium in 1984 for a UEFA Cup final but Europe’s biggest one? This is unchartered territory for every Spurs generation. I had to go to Madrid and so the only question that remained was whether I could do both trips. Madrid was non-negotiable but was Dublin just one trip too many? Had 2019 finally caught up with me?

The answer was yes. I set my alarm on the basis of “this is when I’ll need to leave for the airport” but I woke up on departure day none the wiser if I was going to bother going to Dublin.

In the end I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going. My wait to visit Ireland would have to go on a little longer. This bank holiday weekend would be about doing absolutely nothing – my first free weekend in months and a three day weekend to boot!

And so there’s the other side of travel. I’ve said on the blog before that I often romanticise the places that I visit and Finland in particular was one such trip that I could not do anything but. It was a very special trip for me personally and yet three weeks later I was completely bailing on a trip at the last minute. Things don’t always go to plan and this is one such example where I think not traveling was the right decision and more beneficial to me than had I actually flown to Dublin.

A few days later I was back at work and itching to get away but such is life. Fortunately I knew I’d be heading to Madrid in a few days for a father-son roadtrip and I vividly remember standing in Biarritz pondering why I’d ever want to go back to a normal life in England – just leave me here in the South of France and I’ll live the rest of my days by the sea.

I think it was the right decision. Nevertheless there was still disappointment on not making it to Dublin. I think the decision was helped by being so close to England, I don’t think I’d have bailed on somewhere a bit more far-flung across the globe but Ireland is definitely one of those “it’s only an hour away..” kind of destinations that always feels within reach.

Obviously 2020 offered little opportunity to travel and 2021 was little better. Covid wreaked havoc with many a travel plan including our own wedding. One country I did manage to visit in 2021 however was none other than Ireland. More on that next time!

Stay tuned!

Jason